Hey so after what 5:56am until about 10:30 pm i was out of the house with the exception of 45 minutes inbewtween work and school, so im home now a long day is done, like all of my days, well sunday i got to sleep in which was nice, So im home and still have 10 pages to read and its not getting done tonight other shit is more important that easy school and bullshit you know. Yeah and well im tired of work and school just as much as other people but i guess i dont do enough even though im told i do and anyone who does read this most likely just joe, disgregard any of this i might just make it private or something so its just me venting, anyway i dont do enough im a asshole i know, im a mean bitter 18 year old asshole male, im dirty i dont clean up after myself and frankly im lazy, i work now a little less, usually 32ish and 13 of school this past week was a tough one 38 hours of work and 13 of school, so it was tough no days off either work or school called, andyou know other shit that i dont do but Yeah, I fail at bieng a boyfriend these days and frankly i would prefer to just die and not have to do it anymore, i have done it none stop for almost 15 months now, with an except to like 2.5 months off which i personally think i deserved but im a nobody, honestly i dont understand people, i dont get myself and im ranting but who cares this is for no grade or judgement its for a peice of mind that im not aloud to have bease i dont talk to people when i should things arent they way the use to be, im an a asshole, in less words im an asshole, and i sit in my bed finally comfy all day after a fucked up day and i had forgotten my keys so i had to go back to taco bell, where Allie works and grab hers, and now i dont have to get her which i was willing to do, because i dont do anything i dont play a game so i dont do anything. I dont know what to do? do i get mad? just because i choose one time not to play because i dont want to at that time, do i just let it go like i should or be the asshole like i always am, wait that i am, not always thats like a worrd that i dont know whatsit called but it would incur that im not an asshole all the time but i am asshole all the time, (wow i can type pretty fast, but with errors) thanks runescape you taught me something (selling rune skimmi 30k) hahahahah i made my self lawl, thats always great you know when you make yourself laugh, its just so great that you laugh, but when you tell others, its no so funny because your fucking special man. Your the special one in all the ways were all different, no were all the same all to serve one purpose that is to procreate, and or then die, in whatever order, some peopel get there in other ways, some survive at the bottem, me? ill work all my life ilove work but i dont i bitch about lack of sleep but i work through it because im addicted to always doing things unless im not like some days, but i like moving everyday and getting out, and no one understands me or how i type so it doesnt really matter anymore im not open im a close peice of shit in a life where i have to work work work and school to work more more mroe, but maybe then ill have that 8-4 FUCKING KITTEN GO TO SLEEP JEESUS, and ill be off those weekends and watch the game or something and order somew ings up and have a beer or two and fucking chill infront of my big tv that i just wish to have alongw ith that car, and the brutal computer that i want, but i have to wkr for, all work and lots of play later hopefully but for now, sleep work and school to work later, everything equals what you want if you work for it, you make it work, and im gettting there, my anger was alot better today, i mean alot better i had to walk down the hill from parkway center mall thats about a mile, it was cold but i was ok, i got to bp grabbed a drink and wet to taco shit, then talked to my bable and fucked up some dudes floores, but he deserves it, hes dirrty. i think it was dre who allie told me about im not sure my memory fails, along with my life. Anyway so i go up the hill and oh my phone died a bit before off the bus not sure about the time, but allie sent messages and prolly got frustrated because i didint answer because all people should take the time to tell others that there going to class, and there phone is dieing because i pay attenion to everything like i should maybe when im not on 4 hours of sleep heading into a long fucking day, well part way through you it you know hombre, you know, but anyway sorry if i say anything that hurts anyone in here mainly allie i mean joe might read this but ill got alk to him anyway because i trust him and i mean i should hes a nice guy and all, he is we dont alway a gree but we dont stab eachotehr in the neck over it, were neutral to eachother if that makes sense to anyone and i dont want you joe to take this as me degrading allie, i would if i was you just ignore it just frustrated, anyway as i go home
i empty my pockets and bags to the bone and find nothing, no keys so i turn on the phone and walaa i get like 4 calls out of it, first being my mother, no answer, hung up, then allie until she answered and she has her keys so i load my heavy shit back up because i wanbted to take the dell to schoolt oday the old dell josh's laptop thanks bro it got me threw. You unbiased lack of emotion bastard. So i dont get mad to my own surpise im like ok ill get the keys come back and chill read my accounting book, and wait till 12:30, and thats what im doing now, Thanks alot no one, who will read other then joe and allie, yeah allie you can read hi i love you ill talk to you i guess im sure well be fighting tonight because dont know how the anger will hold up,OH i tested out of my monday night class 5:30-8:40 which is cool, because she was uptight and strict about tardy ness aand shit, so i would of failed and got into some deep shit man, so i have to choose another class tomorrow, so im pretty happy this blogging this helps my fucking head maybe it will make shit better with allie i dunno i mean even when we though earlier today, i just said ims oryour your right because she was, i was irrational even though i though she should of been like hey and said it again and talk over me but i mean thats a double standard i should listen all the time but it doesnt always happen im bullheaded, and i can be dumb, just like the rest of society man. litterly man. I wish i could stop typing but i keep going and going i can always go and talk and rant man, i love it and hate it all the same time. So i remmeber in highschool when Ms. Fossum was telling me that people got addicting to this shit even though no one read it, but godam its addicitng you can type and type and post and post and no one will see it but it doesnt matter i can type alot better then i can write so its ok *i get upset for no reason* you say "joeswindow is still open" indicates to my dumb ass that there is something you want me to find out, so i read it, yeah i read it k? its there you said something now if you would of just asked if i was playing wow not hey you playing wow joes window open yeah, then we would not have a problem but we have a problem. If im upset for no reason you upset for no reason*1000 man, godam what the fuck. I work on shit, and im expected to bloom over night, yeah im fuckedup thanks i say it 9x in this post and i will the rest of my life IM NOT STABLE i havent been forever, i wont be i cant be its not goingt o happen you knew the way i was when i met you, and youa ccpeted it, i get hurt and i repent, thats how i fucking work and it heals and gets better i forgive and get shit back on too, which yeah you went to get your kid take care of it i know, you say that as it doesnt still hurt when something leaves, people see things different thats why there is arguments other wise it be like ok, nothing we would have no existance if everyone agreed in this shit hole thats plummiting faster then the first round of wing knight with the peoples, tim joe matt josh allie nee all who came thats fast, tim can eat some fucking wings, for his almost skinny ass, and so can i, it depends on the status of my bowels i suppose, because sometimes i can eat 40 then others i can eat 15 so it dpends on the day, i really need to get into shape, right now im healthy, i dont want healthy i want fit, FUCK THE FLOOD, its bee i my head allll day its written at the rythmm house my dishwashing job, on the board next to the time clock, oh and it says "the bouncers are meatheads" which makes me lawls and the first dude who comes to mind is the one kitchen mangers Steve big bald dude, and when i think of him i remmeber him bitching about how always has to watch his 2 kids girlfriends all the time and how the nieghboorhood shits on him and he bitches, and how kids dont like pizza anymore there vegan in shit, meat is meat nigga, EAT it, you need it to survive, well you can eat what you want what you really really want, yeah i said it oh well. I like my mind this is calming, it moves on quickly very i cant stay mad, but im good at being mad, i get scream in an anger raage of hell, hit things, and break it and the next minute im good? Bipolar haha mybe? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT YOU TRIEN TO DO TO ME YOU WASNT TRUE TO ME" Icp, i like them, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA HA fuck you wicked clowns here to say whats up to you. DOWN WITH THE CLOWN TILL IM DEAD IN THE CLOWN, truff as my buddy josh would say i think hes my buddy he is busy alot doesnt talk to me as much as he use to, and when it is he just says k, or word, no remarks no insults, i suppose its the lack of contact like we use to school, i still remember drinking tea everyday man i miss it alot mostly just talking to people everyday about how i dont like school and how i dont put effort and get a's matt hates that baout me my bullshit abilities, no work in highschool and still got a 3.5 you know highschool its shit, so is community college, oh shit this will be 9 more pages.

First enter hahahahaha


YEah, so school sucks man im in math 090 and its poop i feel liek i could pass it now, even though im rusty on the shit were doing but i know it well, once i get one problem, i relearn fast, thats how you know you learned something if you can do it again, with a little reminder, now remembering things is just for some time, like spanish i got a b and a c because i remembered it, because i didint care, now i hear like spanish is gonna be liek 70% of america or something i heard but i dont know the reall number, it could be anything but alot of america speaks spanish is the point i remember that, anyway ccac is a joke i with they had hard classes, i want calculus i want a strain to keep up i like the chase of being behind man, i yearn it doing it all in a short period of time being up all day and bitching about it, yeah thats me bitch bitch bitch i do it alot, and i know it but so does everyone else in the world, thats why we function becaue the ability for one to bitch to get shit done well thats in the higher ups, like way up. you bitch and it gets done, anyway, i cant wait to transfer to pitt and pay alot of money for classes and hopefully get a worth while education i hope and get shit you know, well im going to sleep because im just a Tool.

Will