Angry.

I am seeping back into angry again i think i need to blog, i have no relief, nor does my other half, we both neck at neck with each other even with our little to no time off. We are alone, one in one room one in the other. Sad, broken, lost not knowing where to turn. We are both broken in so many pieces of pieces. No where to turn, every way leads to exhaustion what do we do oh mighty one?
How am i to fix an equal to myself? A workoholic, an angry soul, murky eyes filled with hate what do i do? What do they do? Who knows we will find a soulution we always do. Were perfect, so perfect its wrong. Or so wrong its perfect, i have yet to know and if you ever read this, dont take it wrong. We feel the same way about many things, then we feel not so much about the same things. We are human, we do that, as a whole, we dont agree right? It's like a mirror huh? You see how it feels dont you? I sat alone saying no to all the offer's to do things, it is no my fault you have nothing to go to, or no one, because anyone who has an interest in you likes you and wants in your pants. So I cant control the way life works, and im not playing the games anymore. I do it too, but im done. Just because i miss you once or miss a call, dont get upset. Shit happens, i cant control it. honestly if you think i was avoiding you why would i go out of my way to see you, or call you back? Ill never understand half the things you do, but i still love them. Just somtimes
I agree, and follow the steps you lay, but they always backfire.

I dont feel like i need to exist anymore, i bring misery upon who i seek to be around, Sorry world, the princess is always in another castle i know, i can neverw in, no matter how much good i do or try, its impossible, me going anywhere sorry i dont invite you, sorry im horrible, i dont have a choice somtimes, work gets in the way, its horrible i know. Saturday no work, fyck, sunday wait yeah sunday day we do something maybe ill ask joe what to do, he might know how to just do something fun with my other half, Sorry world again really. Your my glue you really are, i mean that other wise id be in peices somewhere in some college dorm broken and beaten of shame. I dont like my life, im tired of working for the goal of more work in the future. I do want to live and experiance things, i want to out and learn and see things, but you can be there too, leaving you behind is not an option i have to pick you up somehow, i dont have on e of those quicker picker fuck uper's right now, im out of emotional points to buy one. I wish i could gain some really. tick tocki hear you going to the bathroom ^_^. You drive me insane, with love and then im agrravated, im bipolar, adhd, and most likely going to be retarted soon, anger kills brain cells i think. The stress i put my body threw is going to kill me, No its not working 20 hours a day, its working 14, and the emotional shit that comes along with it, balencing b's in college because i dont have the emph to put forth, because i have no motivation, i have no goal that i see, i want to fall and explore.

I want yout o go with me We 22, and 18 year's old thats young as shit, your my bonnie, i never wanted to use that but you are. WE have to live, and make it for our own, i want that job, that 9-5 or alteast a set schedule the summer will bring us up alot, we can survive through shit like rubber, withstanding and enduring we already have.

I wanna go and jump of the cathedral and be free, i dont want recognition, i dont want glory, i want my own possesions are tempory pride, earning an item, but its not nearly enough to satisfy me, Im greedy, ready to take in what i can get, i want to breath many breaths, and see many lands, i want to do, and see.

So do you, your destrot from your life, and so am i. I dont get it, i never will i will neve rundrastnad that bond between a woman and her offspring, maybe when im a fater, but not until im atleast 30 or atleast 28 sorry, im living first. I hope that doesnt bother you, but once we get your schedule set and mine, were going, i will push you hard, and you will fall with me well jump together, i would die for you with you, just to be free. Im not afriad see? You just have to see. You will. Thanks.

I want you to read this but i dont, because i want to do it before you read it, i want to show you im true, i am that person who can still carry you on my shoulder's.

eh sleep time.,