Hey Guys.

Who knows what true happiness is?"Not the conventional word..."but the naked terror."To the lonley themselves, it wears a mask."The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion."

Joseph conrad

I shall start out with that, i am blogging because i feel like i have a billion words to say and no one is around to talk to. I think i am going to make this one fuck ton of words im about to type. I am about to explain myself to myself because i need too. And if you read this Allie you do. Im not going through anything to hide anything, i have been honest with you, but we wont get into hostile terms, just talking.

Will.

I am writing a book, i think that Joe will like reading it, i think i run out of idea's quickly, i am not creative or artistic, or imaginative anymore. I dont feel anything other then misery.

Anyway, on to the next fucked up though.

First off, my grammar is getting better, i am really enjoying my english class, even though i am not trying to put forth effort. I have not takan more then 2 hours of time for the 5 essay's i have written, and i have a B in the class. I am no good in english, so i am very very very happy with a B. other classes im not doing so well, i have been slacking in school, and over all slacking in life. Accounting i think i will get a b in the class, because its very very easy, i just need to put the little effort in,i have been putting none in. I put 20 minutes of studying in, and i got a b or c on the test. I think poorly of myself. I think i could do alot better, i think if i had a fire under my ass i could achieve in college, and do great things. But i dont think that will happen. no one is here to hold my hand and push me.

Anyway, im playing halo know, i jump from one thing to the other, so i can stay sane. i need change all the time, to keep my attention, i have no attention span. I dont know whati want in life, ill post more tomorrow. man

Night internets.